Break the Curse

 "I am not good with words."

A sentence that has been on my mind for quite a while, like an unbreakable curse. I have been casting that spell to my self since long time ago. I could not remember what made me to do so. But I guess it was part of my pessimistic side. And now, since I am getting tired of being so pessimistic, I will break the curse. (finger crossed)

When some people asked me "How can you be so positive and optimistic most of the time?" I felt like a hypocrite myself since I am not as positive and optimistic as many people see. To be frankly honest, I pretended to do so most of the time. I tried but mostly I forced myself. It was part of my defense mechanism to not be seen as a weakling. Because I hated inferiority. 

Honestly tho, after deep contemplation lately, I believe that I am not supposed to feel lesser. No one in this world should feel it either. Everyone has always their own strengths and weaknesses. And having flaws is not something to be ashamed for. Nobody is perfect. The most important thing is how to manage the imperfections to be your power instead.

First Hello in 2020 :) Reflection - Why do I write?

Wow! It has been a while since I posted my last writing, in which I said that I would update things that have been missed out. It was TWO YEARS AGO! yes! TWO YEARS! But, yeah, AGAIN! Due to many reasons - that I do not dare to use as excuses NOT to write anything -, I could not keep my own words. In two years, I did not (could not) write anything in this blog. I do feel guilty to myself and you (YES YOU!) of course.

Everything happens for a reason

You may be familiar to that quote (or may not? Are you living under the rock?). I am one of the believers who believes that everything does happen for a reason/reasons. That also applies in my case, such as "why is it so important for me to write?" and "why do I fail to keep my words?". For quite some time, I have been asking myself questions :

"What does 'writing' mean to you?"

"Do you like writing?"

"Why do you need to write?"

"Is it important to write?"

"What do you want to achieve from writing?" and so on.

(I know it is quite random, but please bear with me! or not) :)